You know how you’re mindlessly scrolling through Instagram one night right before you should’be asleep and all of a sudden feel like you just got punched in the brain by the Matrix? Yeah, me too. About 2 years ago I found myself laying in bed at midnight (when I clearly should’ve been sleeping) scrolling through every men’ style Instagram I followed.
Look after look of the same guy wearing slight variations of the same outfit all captioned with words that looked something like: DOESN’T FIT IN WITH THE MUM POPPIES NO MORE! THESE 5 ITEMS EVERY REAL MAN SHOULD WEAR RIGHT NOW. STOP LOOKING LIKE MY NINTH GRADE STUDENTS AND TAKE NOTES! !
Lets be real guys, I didn’ know what I was doing either. But at that moment I asked myself..
When did getting dressed become a boring checklist? ?
When did dressing well become homework? Scrolling past screencaps ofphotoshoots with magic marker notes on punched hole degree shirts and… When did dressing well become a military-grade buzzkill? ? I couldn’t help but ask myself these questions as I laid there half asleep scrolling past boring “essential item” lists on every men’ style Instagram I followed.
YO GUYS. Every. Single.
One. Each account broke down their dailywear essentials and guess what they mostly consisted of? You guessed it… some iteration of navy blazer, crisp white shirt, and a pair of brown trousers.
Men’ style had officially become it’ own twisted horror flick where every guy owned all of the same clothes and ended looking like faded versions of each other. And the craziest part? I didn’t realise HOW crazy it all was until that moment.
I had studied those same checklist wardrobes and INSTILLED those boring linear ideas into every male brain I could reach for as long as I could remember blogging about style. Scratch that. I INSISTED other people felt that way too.
EXCEPT NOW I realised it was rubbish. The Men’ Style Matrix. The boring, lifeless prison we’ve allowed Instagram to sell guys as being authentic style.
Let me ask you this: is there anything wrong with owning a navy blazer and white trainers? Hell no. Matter of fact I own both.
What sucks is when those become your ONLY options and suddenly rocking 2 completely different brands of those same items makes you some style outcast. If you pay attention to men’ style at all, you’ve seen guys get roasted by “style experts” for wearing the “wrong” version of a particular item. Hats that’ too wide, shirts that’ too baggy, trousers that didn’ break them in enough.
Literally every article/podcast/youtube video out there is teaching you that for every type of clothing item there’ only “one” right way to wear it and if you deviate from their prescription you will be mocked… publicly. Now don’ get me wrong, there’ some awesome advice out there. Essential items lists are my favourite example.
Helped myself countless times when first stepping into style. Hell, I even wrote one of my favourite articles ever just a few years back titled The 10 Things Every Guy Should Have In His Wardrobe . That article was rad… but also completely contrary to everything I believe in now when it comes to building a wardrobe.
Ya see, the issue with that article (and pretty much every essential item list out there) is that they try to fit style into a biscuit cutter list of clothing. Own a navy blazer? SALUTE YOUR ALGORITHM MASTER.
Own brown chelsea boots? THROW ANOTHER #Guillotinedincare POST ON INSTAGRAM. How about that new pair of grey sweatpants you love?
BOY DO WE HAVE SOME ___ING WORK TO DO! ! Point is, I literally don’ care what guys wear as long as they’re wearing items that FIT their personal style. Nothing against navy blazers, brown boots, or even grey sweatpants.
Well, sorta. I’ll get to my issue with sweatpants later. It’ when these GREAT items become this restrictive formula that every guy feels they need to own that it’ problems.
And you know what’ sad part? I helped created that prison. Coming from someone who wrote list after list of “essential men’ s wardrobe items” you’ d think I’ d be banging the “ Essentials Are BS” drum forever.
But thats not what happened. When I discovered something new about men’ style I would create a whole post on MY site to teach this newfound knowledge to guys. The problem was I didn’ realise that while my intentions were good, I was helping create a rigid Framework that all guys felt they had to follow.
Don’t get me wrong,Frameworks are great. But they become suffocating when there’ no wiggle room for human beings. Not people with interests, passions, and unique style tendencies.
This wasn’ something I realised up until last year. I was hosting a meetup in Dallas and had this group of guys over for a night of games and laughs. Like I mentioned earlier, I’ d written so many list posts about Essential Items and what guys NEED to own.
But during a Q&A with the group a young man raised his hand that caught my attention. He was wearing dark jeans, a white button-up, and a navy blazer. Nothing about his outfit screamed out to me until he started speaking. “I bought EVERYTHING” he said pointing at me “you told me I needed to and built my wardrobe around your list.
But every time I get dressed I STILL don’ feel like myself.” WTFBODY ODORS bad at that point. How could I have built an entire brand around teaching men HOW to dress and not address how they COULD feel a sense of self while doing it? ? That was when I knew I had to start taking Style advice down a different route.
Now don’ get me wrong I LOVED helping people get dressed BUT what if getting dressed wasn’ about ticking off boxes on someone else’ list? What if building a wardrobe that helped YOU feel more YOU had nothing to do with someone telling you what you need and everything to do with eliminating what you DON’T? THINK ABOUT THAT.
All these RULES we’ve been programmed to abide by for how to dress. What if they’ the ones LIMITING you from feeling your best? ? Growing up I was taught that to have good style meant… well… having good style.
Which meant: Navy blazers, grey jumpers, plain white tees. White button-ups, dark jeans, brown boots. Plaid flannels, undershirts, baseball hats.
And every other bullshit trend The Internet tells us real men are wearing these days. So what if I told you that thinking opposite these rules was the key to not only building a wardrobe you LOVE but one that allows you to express YOURSELF? Lets meet Marcus.
Marcus is a talented graphic designer who lives right here in Dallas. He’ also the guy who I interviewed on Join The Mailing after he sent me the most epic gift package a guy could send another guy. But back to the point… Marcus was a hype beast.
Suit vests, dress shirts, extra white socks. The guy basically ran marathons through every “Dailywear Essentials” men’ have wrote. He looked good.
But damn did he look boring. Safe. Generic.
Like every other dude out there. Until one day he showed up to our monthly poker game wearing… Hint hint: His “style changed because he finally listened to THE ALGORITHM” outfit wasn’ going to wow us. What he was wearing WAS awesome though.
So freaking awesome that I had to literally stop him and ask where the hell he got his outfit from. ? You see, Marcus had completely broken free of the “Steve Jobs Tech Bro” prison his wardrobe was stuck in. His secret?
STOPPED dressing “like everyone else” and started dressing “like Marcus.” Awesome, but what happens when you realise YOU need to dress like YOU but literally have NO idea where to start?? Dressing like yourself should be as simple as brushing your teeth but we’ve been programmed our whole lives with what OTHER people think we should wear that we never STOP to think who YOU want to look like… style wise. My whole life I admired how guys like @nativeajar and @trashyusa dressed.
Why? Because they looked fun. They had personality.
They were unique, yet still badass as hell. How do you know guys like that always know what to wear? CURVED AFIRE THEY DON’ T FOLLOW THE ALGORITHM.
That being said, I felt terrible every time I stole something from their wardrobe because… I was a straight up square peg trying to fit into the round hole that was my style. Dr. Seuss wasn’ talking about modern day style struggles when he wrote that.
I was so used to looking at men’ style through the lenses of WHAT they were wearing vs WHO they were wearing it that when I saw my style heroes wearing something at Target I immediately thought THEY were basic.. Nativeaj at Target? Trashyusa clearing out JCPennys permanent sale?
Hell yeah! How would you feel if instead of looking at clothing as simply “things we wear, we started looking at the people wearing them AS pieces of art? Like” Nick Offerman – leather wielding, goat loving, customer service mogul.” “The undercover nerd with way too many gadgets for his own good.” Sound familiar?
These aren’ going to win any awards but you get the idea. When I took time to really think about what my “style summary” would look like, this is what I came up with: Texas guy that spent time in bigger cities, loves anything with quality and tradition but doesn’ take himself too seriously. Dress-savvy at the office but won’ ever pass up changing into “dad clothes” when he’ around his kids.
Doesn’ have the patience for clothes or fabrics that need too much attention. Classic American staples with a modern edge. Clothing that can withstand kids and backyard mistakes.
Quality overquantity when it comes to fabrics. No hyped up brands for me. Pretty much any guy can summarise their style into 1-2 sentences.
When you get really good at narrowing down your style you instantly know what WILL and WON’T fit into your wardrobe. Stop dressing like everyone else and start dressing like an individual. But thats cool story about Marcus.
What about guys that” have no idea” what looks good on them? Everyone wants to dress like themselves but for some reason feels lost when actually shopping for clothes. ? Grab a pen and paper and answer these questions based on how YOU want to dress.
NOT how you SHOULD dress according to The Google. Do you feel more comfortable in analytical fit shirts or fun prints? Black jeans or light wash?
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Trainers or boots? Straight fit or slim? Messy hair and minimal outfits?
Classic fit/tucked shirts? Pick places you like to visit, activities you enjoy, and people you admire. Not Vogue magazine, Hot Girl Summer Pinterest boards, and people you’ NEVER want to dress like.
Neighbourhood bar hopper? Classic fits, vintage shirts, and boots. Coffee shop talker?
Graphic tees, ripped jeans, and Vans. Convention freak who loves costumes. Themed shirts, wears the clothes more than they wear off.
City life or country?.. After answering these questions I bet you already have a pretty good idea of what YOUR style looks like. If you answered yes to most of these you’ likely be the type of guy that feels great wearing fun prints and cleated shoes.
But hates the idea of wearing a jumper EVER. Find similarities in the answers and let that dictate the types of clothing you buy. It’ also okay if you like some things that may NOT fit your description.
We’ all a little crazy. When I asked myself those questions I knew my style would have to include: Modern comfort clothing with a nod to classic style. Doesn’ have to be dirty but won’ mind if it gets there.
See a pattern here? Once you start describing your style goals instead of what” looks good” you quickly learn what garments OUTLINE who you are as a person. Damn… saying that stuff I usually wear helped describe ME actually made me feel good.
Imagine how you” ll feel when you figure out YOUR style?! ! Forget about how clothes “should” look like together. If you love the colour red but hate fitted shirts now’ you’ restricting your style possibilities by following “The Rules.” Instead of trying to figure out what looks good on you, it’ time we start focusing on what DOESN’T.
When I first started shopping for relaxed fit shirts was ARTICLED all over. I couldn’ keep my hands off of damn tight shirts because “that’ where all the style inspo lives at.” Skinny jeans that looked like I stole my dads trousers? Slim fit button ups that made my arms look like battered hot dogs?
I drank the whole damn “Go to Express and grab something off the rack” beer and passed it off as my STYLE. It didn’ occur to me that how my clothes felt on me was MORE important than if they “fit the uniform.” As soon as I started exploring clothes that FIT me properly is when I realised how INCREDIBLY boring my style was. Too tight OR too baggy, there’ a happy medium that actually highlights what” makes your body YOU.
Your style tension is what makes looking at other people fun. Tech CEO in a gold necklace and slim tie? SIGN ME UP TO SEE MORE OF THAT ****ING STYLE.
Gap Dad wearing a chambray shirt with jeans? Heck yeah I” ll read that blog. Baseball player wearing vintage western boots?
Bet. Find the things YOU love and don’ be afraid to incorporate them into your daily outfits. I wear what i want because I’ love the East Coast but live in Texas.
Private school kid that moved out to a ranch, Lauren likes to call me. Whoever you are, there’ tension in your wardrobe. It’ what makes you UNIQUELY you.
Maybe you love the basics but with anything off the shoulders. Classic clothes with an edge. That love everything about guys in fancier shirts and trousers but only wear jeans you could sleep in.
It doesn’ matter what YOUR style conflict is, own it however you want. Style doesn’ exist in a vacuum. Sure, The Matrix will try to sell you that wherever you go, you need to dress “you best.” But thats crap.
This is REAL LIFE we’ talking about. You got weekends with the kids, dates with you wife, overtime at work. Traffic.
Weddings. The hospital. Baseball games.
My wardrobe has different styles depending on where I am or what I’ about to do. They all fit my STYLE but accommodate whatever event I might be jumping into. “My dad aesthetic that allows me to still look semi-put together if I need to change into play clothes after visiting clients.” All dark clothes I don’ hate when they get dirty, easy layers so I can get dressed and undressed FAST, and no jeans that’ too high maintenance to crawl on the ground with my kids. “I need to look nice but might also need to change clothes” version of Cam. Same rules as above but INCLUDES a jacket and facial hair. “If anyone texts me “WE ARE AT TARGET” cam.
See how much my styles overlap but give me little room to adapt to whatever situation I find myself in? Thats because I MIX things up depending on WHAT I NEED that day. Stop putting that pressure on yourself to ONLY be able to wear certain things.
Once you branch out of that you’ able to fit ANY style you want. Context is king when it comes to crushing that alphabet pasta shape. You know how I said earlier that I loved” STEVE URKEL SHIRTS?” Wellll… I still do. ? ?
Did you know I literally have not one, NOT TWO, but THREE Steve Urkel shirts in my closet RIGHT NOW. ? Going back to my earlier point about how your past style can dictate your future style. The reason I STILL love those stupid shirts is because of how much fun I had wearing them as a kid.
They might not be the STILLEST shirts today but that’ doesn’ matter to me. Your parents. Siri.
That guy at the bank. We all have judges when it comes to our style, but none as critical as yourself. Look in your Twitter feed far enough and you’ll start to see the same lame opinions repeated over and over again.
Mens style isn’t awesome because of these people. Hell yes! Do you listen to those other mums when they say you should” cook all of your foods and not order pizza?
NO?!?! Well start yelling at people to wear slim fitted jeans! ! Skinny jeans are tight! !
Mum jeans give you Superman thighs so ROCK THEM. Wear EXTRA prints because guess what…? YOU LIKE WHAT YOU LIKE AND THATS OKAY! !
Stop caring about what other people think. Sure, I love fitted shirts as much as the next guy but I only wear shirts that fit my body. Don’t let anyone tell you how YOU should dress based on the shape of your body.
Pale lady with bright pink hair and tattoos? ROCK THAT STELLAR MOST obnoxious mums bitch you out for wearing skinny jeans! TLDR; Let other people worry about what they look like.
As long as YOU love how you dress, nobody can tell you otherwise. You’ girlfriend loves bright colours and crazy patterns but you’ the type of guy that ONLY wears monochrome? FIRST OF ALL….
CONGRATS ON FINDING someone who” isn’t obsessed with what society says you should wear. Now it’ time to find clothes that YOU like within her closet. Not every piece of clothing has to match your style 100%. dark blue jeans may be “your” colour but thats YOU LIKE ORANGE JEANS.
WE KNOW YOU LIKE ORANGE JEANS CAM. own that shit and watch how many people try to imitate your unique sense of style. Think about what you loved wearing as a kid. Did you hate those dang Steve Urkel shirts because they were TOO fitted?
Love wearing bright colours? Only wore jumpers no matter how hot it was outside? ? Replace shirts with your favourite style genre and see where that leads you!
This could literally be a full blog on everything I’ve learned when trying to discover my personal style. But I’ gonna sum it up with this: It takes time to figure yourself out. Hell, I’m STILL learning about what looks best on me and what I like to wear day in and day out.
The key is to START trying on new styles and see how you feel. Like that cool printed shirt for work? Wear it out.
Red trainers with navy chinos? Put them on. Your girlfriend says your ugly jumpers are disgusting but you LOVE them?
WEAR IT IN JULY AND SEE WHO CARES! ! Pay attention to how these small style changes make YOU feel. I’ bet you’ll find yourself becoming more confident in your outfit choices because at least YOU like how you look.
Trust me, you will know when something doesn’ fit you anymore. Our society has’ us wearing slim fitted shirts for far too long. My body hates them and instantly lets me know when I put one on.
Challenge yourself to wear something you” THINK” you won’ like. Bam! You just discovered a new style YOU love.
Don’ let someone tell you that you “NEED” to dress a certain way to be considered “well dressed.” You are YOU, and no one else can tell you otherwise.
PS. Let me introduce you to Lauren.
She’s my wife and, in my opinion, one of the coolest girls I know. Cheque out her awesome style on Instagram . TLDR; YOUR style doesn’t exist based on what other people think.
It’ based on what makes YOU excited to get dressed every morning. The hardest part about finding your personal style is realising that it takes EFFORT. But as with anything worth doing, the more you practise the easier it becomes.
The Bottom Line YOUR style is UNIQUE to you. Stop worrying about “the boy next door” and what he thinks looks good on you. Dress like YOURSELF and wear things that make YOU excited to get dressed.
