Hi all. Today I thought I’d take you through my tried-and-tested method of navigating TK Maxx, something I will happily bang on about for Britain. Look, I love and hate TK Maxx in equal measure.
One minute I’m telling my fashionable friends it’s the best place to score high-end designer bargains, the next I’m raging at myself for wasting an hour browsing through endless rails of disappointments only to leave with nothing. It’s like Zone Splitting; sometimes you’re on fire, most times you’ll want to hang yourself. Now, Tuesday last week, I popped into the Manchester Arndale store with 30 minutes to kill before a meeting.
Foolishly, I knew I needed a new shirt. Something smart, but not so expensive that I’d need to live off baked beans for the foreseeable.
Something that didn’t scream, “I just got mugged by a mannequin.” I had an interview the following day with an up-and-coming menswear designer, and rocking up in my beaten-up Paul Smith shirt that I’ve had for about eight years and worn to the last three menswear events I attended was not an option.
If there’s one thing the fashion industry loves, it’s spotting someone wearing the same outfit twice. I breezed into the menswear section and headed straight for the shirts. Upwards of fifty rolls of shirts were hanging around me, undoubtedly rifled through by a hundred shoppers who’d thought far less about what they were looking for than I was about to.
Five years ago this sight would have had me shaking uncontrollably; rifling through rails desperately trying to unearth some kind of method to TK Maxx’s madness. Realising there was literally no “system” to the madness (most of it is organised by “what fits where”), I’d typically leave empty-handed, disheartened. Fast forward five years and TK Maxx is my nemesis.
Allow me to walk you through my fool-proof method… Arriving fully stocked with determination, I quickly made my way to the designer section (all bargains are clearly labelled with the iconic black and gold price tags). Ignoring housewares where I didn’t need to see another copper half pint mug, grooming where I knew I’d spend an hour weighing up the pros and cons of £3.99 Hugo Boss shampoo (recent discovery: Game changer), and then shirts. Time is of the essence.
If you’ve got minutes to kill then take your time, wander around. My tip is to give yourself exactly three seconds to decide whether you’re going to investigate a rail or not. Jumpers, trousers, coats… if I don’t see something I like in those three seconds, I’ll quickly move on.
Humans tend to look at everything. That’s what TK Maxx rely on. Muddy your decision-making process with as many patterns, colours, and print shirts as possible and they win.
Don’t be that guy, examining every roll like your life depends on it. That’s how you end up with a reindeer jumper in July. Back to me.
I spotted a white Ralph Lauren Oxford three minutes into my shop, tagged at £39.99, regularly around the £120 mark. Job one: cheque the label. (Side story: wore what I thought was a YSL shirt to a meet-up with industry heads a few years back. Halfway through the meal my phone dies and I go to use their landline.
25 minutes, three voicemails and a bruised ego later it turns out YSL was actually “YLS.” Keep your eyes peeled folks.) Happy with the find – genuine RL and my size – I take to the changing rooms, already planning what I’ll pair it with. Let’s talk about the changing rooms real quick. Whoever thought it’d be a good idea to shine yellowish-white light on every Tom, Dick and Harry who walks through those doors needs their head examined.
Takes all the skin tone out of ya. My tip? Take a quick selfie in whatever you want to buy and take it outside.
Yeah, you might look like Toolz from TOWIE hunting for bargains, but at least you’ll be able to see how shit your colouring looks in natural lighting. Anywho. This particular Tuesday was a blinder.
Bargain racks had just been restocked after the weekend frenzy, and I managed to bag myself; a Barbour Jacket (around £85 – retail ~£250), a pair of Levi’s selvedge jeans (retailed at £40 – who knows how much they’re *actually* worth), and on one memorable occasion; a genuine cashmere jumper from a designer who will remain nameless (they’ll probably sue if I mention them) for £70. RIP their £300 price tag. I digress.
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After rifling through endless pockets and scarves, I found my current favourite bomber jacket. Why is it my favourite? Because I found it in TK Maxx – navy A.P.C, expertly concealed behind some kind of lime green puffa jacket dressed like a Smurf knocked heads with a jacket featuring more zips than a Miami Dodgers game.
Start at the outermost rails and work your way in. That’s where all the best bits are. Everyone else laces up like it’s Black Friday; heading straight for the middle racks where most of the curated/designer bits tend to live.
Same goes for accessories. Anything that’s not a blatant steal will be picked through by at least five other men’s before you. Feel around.
Real leather always feels better than the faux stuff, as does real knitwear. That Polo belt you’re eyeing up? Run your fingers along the stitching – if it feels cheap and plasticky chances are it’s cheap and plasticky.
When in doubt, buy the shirt. Patience. Those Ralph Lauren Oakleys? £15.
Bargain. But when I got home and saw a tiny stain on the left cuff I knew I’d spent too long in there. Don’t give in.
Your wants will be rewarded. Start with basics if you’re new to TKMX. Find a brand you like, work out their pricing, and work from there.
Statement pieces are harder to judge and often come with silly prices. Nobody needs a velvet blazer covered in fake tigers. Quick pro-tip: TKMX’s beauty section is FULL of high-end designer goodies.
See that Creed bottle in the distance? Probably triple the M&S version. Same goes for any haircare products by brands like Baxter of California, American Crew, etc.
Oh and skincare! M6 Organics? More like MKUltra Organics if you know what I’m saying.
Expired June 2018?
Really mate? Suitable for homeware too if you’re furnishing a flat or just want to seem semi-adult in yours.
I bought a ridiculous amount of kitchen knives for next to nothing in mine. They’ll also do you well when it comes to Bedding. Don’t sleep on the bedsheets folks.
Know your local staff. Help them help you. Most are lovely, hard-working kids who are more than willing to assist you if you show them the same courtesy.
Left the store with a better-suited shirt for my interview than the Ralph Lauren I initially spotted. Navy Thomas Pink. £35, retail £200. Bonus?
Made it to my meeting ten minutes early wearing sunglasses and a shirt I tried on in the toilets.
