I was watching this guy walk into a cocktail party one evening wearing an expensive suit. Probably cost $3,000, beautiful charcoal wool, just enough texture, shoes polished to shine. There was thoughtful cuffing on the jacket sleeves.
Somebody had taken their time with him in the fitting room. Custom-made everything. Quality crafted to the point where you knew he knew and appreciated what good materials and construction felt like.
And then he went to shake someone’s hand and I noticed his fingernails. Horrible.
Chipped black abysses like he had been tunneling himself out of prison or something.
Right after he walked away, I was reminded of why we’re even discussing grooming in the first place. Dressing well can be marvelous complement to grooming or it can be the glaringweak point in an otherwise fantastic outfit. You can dress head-to-toe Tom Ford but if you look like you just came out of hibernation everyone notices.
Believe me when I tell you I’m just as guilty as the next guy when it comes to grooming fails. Hell hath no worse tortured soul than a man who hates his beard. When I first decided to start growing mine out I clumsily documented the process with these photos.
As my then-girlfriend so lovingly put it, I looked like a tennis ball that people had dropped in dirt. Years later I tried cutting my own neckline and ended up with a genetically mutated hybrid of beard and moustache that looked like a chin strap for a helmet I didn’t own. And two weeks ago I showed up to a fancy dinner with an industry big-shot because half my face was sunburn while the other half wasn’t.
Thank sunscreen for uneven application. The point is that none of us are immune to slipping up here and there. What’s important is that we realise just how impactful grooming can be when we’re trying to wear our clothes with confidence.
Neglecting it doesn’t make you unkempt by default, but it can definitely make you look that way. And once you start thinking about grooming in correlation with the rest of your wardrobe, you realise just how interconnected the two really are. Fortunately, your average grooming mistake is also pretty easy to fix.
It doesn’t take hundreds to rectify like that fancy suit or weeks searching through bins for that perfect pair of vintage Levi’s. What it does take is awareness and effort. Two things that I know, while reading this article, aren’t issues for you fine people.
But for the rest of us mortals, let’s run through some of the most common mistakes I see on guys who otherwise look great and how to fix them without breaking the bank or spending hours each morning getting ready. Failure to trim Right there in the headline. That story I started this article with?
Not a unique experience to me. I see gentlemen with faces planted into their expensive cuffs all the time with nail beds that scream, “STOP LOOKING AT MY HANDS!” Look, people pay attention to your hands. You may think they go directly from your wrist to someone’s forehead when you shake their hand but that’s simply not true.
Keep your nails trimmed and clean. If you grow a moustache or beard, keep those trimmed too. If you need to go more heavy duty on your hands/fingers, keep a nail brush in the shower and brush them after every time you wash.
Most of us can manage that. Your gloves came off a while ago The beard movement has been something of a blessing and a curse as far as grooming goes. Don’t get me wrong, not shaving every day is GREAT and I’m happy we live in a world where that’s acceptable.
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The downside? Far too many dudes who don’t know how to keep their necklines trimmed. Enter my friend Dave.
Dave is a cool dude and a financial consultant who works with all sorts of professional men. On a weekly basis he’ll shake the hands of dudes wearing beautiful suits and great watches but who have zero concept of where their neck stops and their facial hair begins. “I have no idea where my neck ends and my beard starts,” he told me one night as I gently pointed out the striations of dirt encased under his fingernails. One day I asked him to meet me at the bar before a wedding we were both attending just so I could examine his facial hair disaster. “See this patch here?” I asked, turning his phone around so he could see himself in selfie mode. “Uh…yeah?” He was clearly oblivious. “I know we’re drunk, but does that line actually stop where your neck begins or do you just not notice how low your beard goes?” He gasped a little too loudly when he realised how low his “stop trimming here” point was.
Get it trimmed up. You don’t need to spend much and if you take a second to google “how to trim a beard” you’ll instantly know what your face should look like post-shave. Ask your barber to define your neckline when you get it shaved and take care of it once or twice per week thereafter.
It’ll make you look a lot sharper. Unclean-shaven Similar story for my clean-shaven brethren out there. Stubble isn’t your friend.
Neither are rash burns or whatever the hell that mark is when you missed a spot but thought you didn’t. If you wear a beard or moustache, these tips still apply to you, obvio… wait. The neck line.
Yup. I recommend you drop everything you’re doing right now and go shave if there’s any possibility you’ll be wearing something nice within the next 24 hours. Really.
Stubble happens. We’ve all been there and you’re not going to avoid it forever. When it comes to shaving, just know that your morning shave isn’t going to last all damn day.
I keep an emergency shaving kit at work because I cannot deal with having my brand new haircut ruined by patches of regrowth while I’m in the middle of giving a presentation. A haircut that matches your outfit I’m sort of jumping around with these examples but bear with me. There’s a dude I see at work often that wears really nice clothes but always has terrible haircuts.
It drove me nuts. He was spending money on his wardrobe but not taking the same amount of care in ensuring his hair looked as put-together as his slacks. My coworker Mike got his first real haircut about 2 years ago.
Up until this point he was buying expensive shirts and jackets but getting $15 haircuts at the local spot in the strip mall near his house.
When he finally pulled the trigger and spent money on a haircut that actually worked for his hair-type and face-shaped his entire wardrobe seemed to match. It’s crazy how much of an difference a good haircut can make.
You don’t have to spend a boatload of money but please spend more than 15 dollars. I’m not even exaggerating here. Also, find someone who knows what they’re doing and go regularly.
Hair product schmar-product Speaking of haircuts. Once you find that great barber who you feel actually cares about making your hair look perfect, invest in a few products that will help you maintain your haircut between visits. If you have thick, coarse hair and use a light styling cream, it’ll look like you don’t know what you’re doing.
The same goes if you have fine hair and use too much heavy pomade. It’s not sexist or racist but hair really does autumn into that binary. I suffered for years trying to figure out why my hair looked oily and wouldn’t style no matter what
