Received a wedding invitation last spring that instructed guests to wear “lounge suit.” Did not know what this meant. It wasn’t written in some funny British accent in my head. I’ve never encountered that word to describe attire at a wedding before. “Cocktail” and “formal” are the norms.
Those are terms that normal people understand. To be fair, I googled it immediately. Which resulted in me browsing British menswear websites and forums where people discussed how to properly fold a pocket square.
Obsessive. And then I found articles about morning dress.
And white tie.
All of these extremely British phrases that left me bewildered and intimidated. My mistake was that I took lounge suit literally. As in, comfortable attire you could lounge in.
I own a lightweight cotton blazer and slacks from Target’s Goodfellow collection that I purchased last summer. Matched it with a polo because…that’s what you do with blazers and polos, right? Figured we were going for comfortable sophistication or some nonsense.
I felt pretty good wearing as the wedding. Until I realised that every other guy in attendance was wearing…just a suit. Navy suits.
Charcoal suits. Dress shirts. Ties.
Real ties. I looked like I was going on a dates whereas everyone else worked in an office with a dress code. The groom’s father even approached me during cocktail hour and said, very kindly, “Lovely casual dress, isn’t it?” with a slight smile as if we both knew I was wrong.
But it didn’t stop there. He went on to explain how British people love to be understated with their dress requirements. We ask you to wear a “lounge suit” when we really mean you should wear business attire.
I spent that wedding People-Watching and studying what other men were wearing. As if I was on a mission from God to not look like a buffoon at the next wedding I was invited to. Basically, “lounge suit” translates to formal/business attire with some extras/pieces that you would wear to a wedding.
You can wear whatever colour suit you want, but it looks like at least half of the men at every British wedding I’ve attended are wearing navy suits. Low risk? Safe choice?
Whatever it is, navy works. Dresses well on camera. Works for day or evening.
Doesn’t clash with the wedding party’s colour scheme. Other than the colour, it’s pretty standard fare. Same as you would wear to the office.
However, there are some subtle differences between business casual and weekend wedding guest attire. What I wore to that first wedding was acceptable. Blazer had good cut, fit me well.
But the polo shirt told a different story. It needed a dress shirt. And a tie.
It needed to look like I put some effort into my outfit. Dress it up instead of dressing down. My research also showed that men wear pocket squares to weddings.
I had never worn a pocket square before but started purchasing them after my first attempt. Amazon has tons of inexpensive options. Grabbed some white cotton ones that were $15 for three.
Nothing too fancy. Just learned how to do the straight edge fold or puff fold. Goes a long way.
As for ties, there are definitely options to have some fun here but don’t go too crazy. Another thing I learned from observation. The guys that stood out in a good way wore ties that weren’t solid.
They had texture or a subtle pattern. Avoid stripes or crazy prints. Started purchasing knit ties.
Found this burgundy one from Nordstrom Rack for $30 that’s been a staple ever since. Shoes weren’t terrible but there was a marked difference between mine and everyone else’s. I wore brown leather dress shoes that I typically wore to work, weddings, the grocery store; you name it.
They were fine. Just needed to actually polish them. Purchased shoe polish since I’ve never had to do this before in my life.
Looks like I actually own shoes now instead of wearing them as an afterthought. One of the final tips I’ll give you is dress socks, guys. Don’t wear athletic socks with your wedding outfit.
It’s beyond me why I thought that was okay the first time around. Or white socks. But dress socks, PLEASE.
And they should ideally match your trousers, not your shoes. Simple fix. Target has dress socks.
Grab a pack of navy and charcoal for $10. Same rules apply for summer and winter weddings, only different fabrics. Summer calls for lighter colours.
Winter is wool coats and heavier fabrics. That Uniqlo wool overcoat I bought for $60 on sale is amazing for getting to venues looking sharp. British weather is also something to take into consideration when you’re attending summer and winter weddings.
Will it rain? Is it going to be windy? Umbrella?
Shoes that won’t get ruined? Fabric that won’t crease if you get slightly damp? Plan these things out!
Looking back, I never used to think about what I was wearing before I left my house. Now I plan outfits out weeks in advance. Make sure I have all pieces I need.
Try it on to make sure everything still fits. Hold myself to a higher standard because of that first wedding. Don’t need to spend a ton of money to look the part either.
My go-to uniform for British weddings now is: J. Crew navy suit that I bought on sale ($100? ), white/light blue dress shirts from Target, knit ties from Nordstrom Rack ($30? ), nice dress shoes that I take care of now, white pocket squares from Amazon. $300ish dollars for pieces I’ll use for probably the rest of my life. British people LOVE to dance around formal dress requirements.
They want you to look like you tried, that you know the occasion calls for slightly nicer clothing. But at the same time, they don’t want you to look like you actually tried. Got invited to another “lounge suit” wedding last month.
Immediately knew what I was going to wear. Navy suit. White shirt.
Burgundy knit tie.
White pocket square. Straight edge fold.
Brown dress shoes that I now actually polish. Navy dress socks. Received compliments from other guests.
Felt appropriately dressed for the establishment we were in. Wasn’t the odd man out. Groom later messaged me and said he was glad guests interpreted the dress code correctly.
Said the worst thing that can happen to your wedding is when guests either over or under dress themselves. Made me realise that horrible first experience has come in handy. I now actually enjoy receiving those damn formal invitations because I know how to interpret them and won’t get upset/awkwardly obsessed when I receive them.
Moral of the story: if you’re told to wear a “lounge suit,” just think of it as business formal with wedding-appropriate accessories.
