I never thought that I would take style advice based on watching my friend change shirts in a Starbucks bathroom, but hey…life comes at you weird like that. I was getting coffee last month waiting on Jackson to finish football practise when this guy – let’s call him Mike – worked at some marketing agency downtown stumbled in. He literally walked into the bathroom wearing what looked like a Page Right out of “How to Dress Like a Corporate Predator” and came out five minutes later sporting what I can only describe as “Bro that’s so Baller Apparel Store.” It was the same damn trousers…but one was catering to ‘business professionals’ while the other was ready to hang with ‘creative entrepreneurs.’ As it turns out Mike was teaching classes at the community college in the evening and needed to ditch the whole “corporate suit guy” look when he walked into a classroom full of painters, writers, and multi-media hellions.
Mike’s little shirt change had me thinking about my own wardrobe conundrum. Despite the fact that I have three different careers hats that I wear on a somewhat regular basis, my wardrobe has become far more complicated as a result. On one hand I have my day job as an IT project manager but, like most dads these days, that’s just the start.
I blog about men’s style here on Switch Gear Weekly, occasionally work at my buddy’s clothing store when they get overwhelmed with customers (tips are appreciated!) and will sometimes help facilitate workshops at our school for other parents trying to figure out how not to look like frumpy adults. Side note: Apparently “dad bod” isn’t just a trousers size… See, each of these three hats require a different visual feel clothing wise.
Professional but not stiff.
Fashion knowledge but not “I’m hot because I work at a store that sells clothes.” Capable but not try-hard. You get the picture. Thing is, as a dad you can’t really have three entirely separate wardrobes.
Kids cost way too damn much as it is. Between school supplies, clothes, sports equipment, toys…my girls are slowly and methodically stealing every penny I own. Also, between getting ready myself in the morning and cleaning up the piles of junk my kids call clothing you barely have time to pick an outfit, let alone three.
I have about ten minutes to get dressed in the morning before Sophie wants help putting on her backpack or Jackson realizes it’s “that day” where he completely blanked on his project due date. That doesn’t leave me a lot of time to decipher which version of “ Daddy” I’ll be today and how that will translate into my wardrobe. So I’ve had to tailor (hah) my wardrobe around something I call a “ shapeshifter wardrobe.” Basically a group of clothes that work for my day-to-day dad activities but can also be mixed and matched to suit my other professional needs when the time calls for it.
It took some trial and error (and honestly some really questionable style choices along the way) but I think I’ve got a wardrobe formula that works. The biggest “secret” is investing in clothes that can legitimately work in more than one way. There’s a handful of pieces that I can throw on for just about any of my three careers that never look out of place whether I’m on a video call with my office team, helping a customer pick out jeans that fit at the store or presenting in front of a group of parents during a workshop.
Basics. Not trendy items or standout pieces. Just simple wardrobe staples that can do the heavy lifting so the rest of your clothes can shine.
Dark jeans are the foundation of my entire wardrobe. Not too expensive, but well made. Straight cut instead of skinny – looks intentional without trying too hard.
Dark enough to get away with it if I have to wear them somewhere that is Business Casual (which I do, like once a month for work) and well constructed enough that I feel like a denim expert when I’m helping people pick out jeans at the store. Comfortable enough to run around after kids and pets all day long too. Same thing with chinos.
Mostly in colours that won’t show every stain ( hello Khaki Trounce Syndrome), but provide some versatility in the event that I need to wear something dressier. Navy, Olive, Grey. Fit is important too.
Nothing too slim because…let’s be honest, at 42 I shouldn’t be trying to dress like I’m 25. But not baggy either. Button-downs are my secret weapon.
White and light blue oxford cloth, nothing crazy but high quality so they don’t feel cheap when I’m washing them every other week. Wear them tucked in with chinos and dress shoes for work calls or meetings. Untucked over a t-shirt with jeans and trainers when I’m working at the store.
Button-downs rolled up with trainers and dark jeans for workshops. Hell I can probably think of ten different outfit combinations using just ONE shirt. You want to know another piece of clothing that I learned to never cheap out on?
White t-shirts. Guys, I know they’re basic as hell but if you learn nothing else let this be the thing that you take away from my blog post: Invest in a good cotton tee. The ones that retain their shape and don’t look like crap after two washes.
They’re great under shirts as a layering piece, fantastic all on their own for casual weekend looks and can even be dressed up with the right jacket. Throw in a couple merino jumpers too –navy and grey crewnecks that go with everything and can keep you warm when Texas God decides to quit being a jackass for a week. Oh and a good blazer.
Nothing crazy tailored or formal, but a blazer that can take any outfit from “raisin’ hell with my kids” to “raisin’ hell…at work.” Jeans and a tee? Throw on that blazer and suddenly you look intentional. Chinos and a button down?
Outta here client meeting, clothy dude. Clothes aren’t the only thing you can use to trick people into thinking you work in an office. Shoes are honestly where most of my “quick changes” come from.
You can take the same exact jeans and button-up and completely change how professional it looks based on what you throw on your feet. White trainers. Brown leather loafers.
Casual boots. White trainers are my jam. They make me look young enough to remember what it’s like to actually LIKE your job.
Loafers are great for elevating something up without feeling stuffy or like I work in an office. Boots are great for boots stuff…haha…but also work for pretty much anything else around here in Texas. Jackets help too.
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Lightweight field jacket that takes pretty much any outfit and makes it look more outdoorsy/workish. The blazer I mentioned earlier can dress anything up as well. And yes, I own a leather jacket that I probably shouldn’t wear because it definitely makes me look like Immidiatly after purchasing it.
But hey, it works for some things so I’m keeping it. Trust me, little things like changing your watch from a rubber/case Casio to something with a leather band or carrying around a different bag can change the entire feel of what you’re wearing. Theres things I wish I was coordinated enough to swap out too (glasses frames mostly) but we’ll never know about those, cowboy.
Truth is each of my three hats require a different “ dress code” but you don’t have to crossover into Halloween costume territory to give each sufficient attention. Office work = enough polish that I look like I could keep a project together should something go wrong. Blogging/workshops = enough style/intangible details that people believe I actually know what Im talking about when I write about clothes.
Working Retail = approachable but not overly casual. If I look too high-end, people assume I’m judging them based on their outfit. Too sloppy and they don’t think I have useful input on what fits.
Oh, and also it all has to be comfortable enough to stand in for hours on end and move around in. Teaching parents how to look good and dress for their body can actually be the toughest because I have to balance looking put together enough to give people advice but not so high-end that I’m completely removed from their reality. Chinos instead of jeans.
Button down over tee shirt. Shoes that aren’t quite as casual as trainers but not as “work” as loafers. Desert boots are my go to.
Honestly where I think I’m at the most with my wardrobe is that I’m no longer trying to be three different people when I pull on clothes. I’m just adjusting the levels of my current personality up or down depending on what the day demands of me. Wear the clothes like a tool to help you get into the mindset you need to be in.
Loafers vs trainers isn’t JUST changing your shoes, your telling yourself you’re going into work-mode now. Its tough some days when you’ve gotta juggle multiple responsibilities. I had a day last week where I had an early video call, a lunch meeting with someone about possibly writing for their blog, picked up my oldest from school, and then had to stop by the store to work my evening shift.
Thats THREE different dress codes I’m chopping between and I don’t get home until after the store closes so I can’t change outfits in between. So I layer. Shirt, button-down, blazer.
Call with blazer on. Looks sharp and professional. Meet with potential new client, take off blazer but leave button-down.
Still look sharp but more friendly/casual. Head to store, ditch button and just wear t-shirt and jeans. Same three pieces, three different feels.
I also keep a bag in my car with a few misc things I can change into if need be. Extra shirt, maybe a different jacket or pair of shoes. Nothing that I can completely change into but enough to give me some options if I need them.
And honestly, some days I just don’t give a shit. Not every day is laundry day and I’m not looking “perfect” for every scenario I find myself in. There’s enough pressure on dads as it is, “appropriately dressed enough” is good enough for me.
But seriously, clothes have a funny way of helping you get your mind right for what you’ve got to do that day. When I throw on that blazer I feel more “work” ready. When I switch to my field jacket and boots it puts me in the mindset to do more manual labour type stuff.
Kinda like how wrestlers have to change into their costumes before they can legitimately “become” the wrestler. Truth is you don’t need a huge damn wardrobe to make your clothes work for you. I’ve probably got around 30 total items that allow me enough versatility to tackle any professional shifts that come up.
WAY easier than trying to maintain three full wardrobes that each serve a separate purpose. Be realistic with yourself when you’re planning out your wardrobe. Do you really need 20 pairs of shoes?
Probably not.
A handful of great ones that will work for most things? Yes.
Same with jackets, shirts, trousers. Quantity vs quality will be your biggest matrix as a dad just trying to keep his shirt on. And for the love of everything holy realise that no one is paying as close attention to your clothes as you think they are.
People see you walk in, register whether or not you fit in the environment based on your outfit and move along with their day. They’re not thinking “his shirt has vertical stripes, he must be trying to appear dominate.” But they WILL notice if your trousers are stained and you’re at a client meeting. Side hustles are HERE to stay.
If I had a dollar for every time I saw another Dad start driving for Uber or Lyft I’d be able to buy Jackson a new football ball. More and more guys I know are picking up side hustles to help pad their income and it almost always includes wearing a hat that isn’t your “ normal work.” Whether you’re a teacher driving for rideshare on the weekends, a freelancer with clients in multiple industries or wearing the many hats of starting your own business…there’s a good chance you’re shapeshifting more than you realise. Your wardrobe can be your best friend or your worst enemy.
I’ve chose the former.
