Imagine this scenario: mid December. You know, that weird week where people are pretending that actual work is happening but are secretly just looking forward to their next drink. Suddenly your WhatsApp group is full of messages along the lines of “quick one down the pub tonight?” sent by people you haven’t actually seen face-to-face since that wedding you went to in August.
The office is emptying early, your neighbour has knocked with a card and there’s definitely that British Christmas buzz in the air. Excitement. Dread that you’ve agreed to go to drinks with six different groups of people this evening.
It’s officially high season for perhaps one of our most British traditions: Christmas pub drinks. I’m not talking about the work do here – that’s whole other blog post filled with merlot and aggressive drinking games.
I’m talking about catching up with mates down the local, throwing a couple of festive beverages back in your favourite watering hole as Christmas tunes blast out of the overhead speaker system and sparkling wine tinsel balls autumn down your glass.
Added cheese-factor points if your pub of choice has thrown a few bits of tinsel around the bar and doubled the price of mulled wine (because no one actually mulls it, they just put a stick of cinnamon in a glass of wine and call it mulled). But how do you actually dress for it? It’s one of those occasions where wearing jeans and a hoodie feels like too little but a suit definitely feels like too much.
Want to look like you made an effort but not look like you’re Christmas dressing. It’s a tricky one. You see, I am a big believer in outfits for occasions.
Now, before you get all outraged in the comments about fighting for freedom of dress and sticking it to The Man etc. hear me out. You don’t have to wear a shirt with trousers. It doesn’t even have to be a jumper.
Hell, it doesn’t even have to be CHRISTMAS themed – just enough of a nudge-nudge wink-wink to recognise the time of year without swanning around like a reject from The Christmas Calendar. I have spent many years getting this balance wrong. Many.
Oh to be able to trace back through my iPhone and locate the photo of me rocking an entire Fair Isle jumper with jingle bells FOR LEGITIMATE REASONS last Christmas. Turns out when your mates invite you for “Christmas jumpers” they don’t mean actually wearing one. Barman tried serving me all night but would only pour alcohol into my glass when I said “ho ho ho”.
Fun times. The key to cracking your Christmas pub outfit is picking pieces that read “Christmas” in texture and/or colour but stop just short of “loud”. You want to be able to wander outside for a breather/smoke/chat about footie with the non-drinking person in your group and not feel under/over dressed.
Throw some layers in to account for dry/wet pubs (because they’re always either boiling hot or freezing) and suddenly you’re sorted for whatever the evening might throw at you. Starting from the top, this is a good place to start your Christmas-ness. A quality jumper in a festive colour is a winner.
Burgundy. Forest green. Emerald.
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Deep navy. All better than actual green and red. Texture adds extra points here; cable knit or waffle stitch adds depth and christmas-tree detail without having pine needles falling off your sleeves.
My go-to has been this lovely dark green lambswool jumper from an independent Scottish brand for years. It’s warm enough to wear when your pals suggest “you know we should just walk to that new place round the corner” but not so bulky that I start sweating buckets when we return to the pub. Enough texture to look like I’ve put thought into it but not Christmas Club pop-ambient melody levels of Christmas.
Layered with a plain white Oxford shirt underneath (tips tucked inside jumper, of course – we’re not savages) and you’re halfway there. Top half sorted. That leaves trousers and shoes – and honestly both of those I say stick to the classics.
You know the drill; good jeans or chinos you know fit you well. As for colour, again stick to darker denim or black. You never know with these kind of evenings; they can sometimes take a turn to the smarter side and suddenly you’re grateful you didn’t wear jeans with holes in them.
The same goes for footwear; a classic shoe is always smarter so if your Christmas pub crawl takes a turn to the posh pub you’re not wearing flip flops. My desert boots from Church’s or Tricker’s country boot both fit the bill nicely; smart enough to not look out of place in somewhere with an actual door man but comfy enough to spend all evening in. And now for the fun stuff.
Accessories. This is where you can subtly up the Christmas ante or gently knock it right back down again depending on your group and your own levels of festive embrace. Add a spot of Christmas colour to your pocket square in an otherwise classic navy blazer.
Wear socks with a festive pattern that are only spotted when you take your trousers off to sit down. Change your watch strap to a darker green or burgundy NATO. The opportunities are endless.
I happen to own this rather fine dark red knitted tie that lives in my wardrobe between December 1st and December 25th.
Nobody jumps out and says “oh my GOD CHRISTMAS!” when they see me wearing it but my more regular drinking buddies do nicely enough by giving it a mention every time we lock eyes and realise what month it is. As with any winter activity that involves pub-crawling and cigarette breaks (don’t lie, we all do it even if you quit ten years ago it’s OK to bum one at Christmas when you’ve had about three pints) a good coat is essential.
You’ll be hanging yours up and down all evening between venues and potentially chilly cigarette breaks so you want one with enough smartness to it to account for venue changes but won’t look out of place hanging off your shoulder in the corner of your local. A wool overcoat in charcoal or navy is never wrong and goes with anything but if you’re planning on keeping things more casual a waxed jacket or heavy duty chore coat works just as well. Speaking of, my navy wool car coat from BP is smart without being overly dressy, has huge pockets for gloves and your phone charger (because one of us needs to stay charged for the entire evening obviously) and has a plaid lining that gives a subtle festive feel when I’m handing it to a bartender at a slightly snazzier venue but doesn’t advertise itself when slung over the back of my chair.
Layers. Always layers. When you’re out Christmas pub-crawling (yes that is now a word) you’re going to be cold one minute and sweating the next.
Air-con by the bar. Heaters blasting full-force once everyone’s left and you’re in the corner trying to eke out just “one more” drink. Build layers into your outfit that can come off and go back on at the drop of a hat (or offer of a shot).
Get it right and your Christmas pub outfit should get maybe a solitary “you’re looking smart tonight” from your beer-glasses-rubbing together friend before someone pulls out their phone and you can sit back, relax and soak up the season’s Cheeriods./END.
