Why I Stopped Overthinking Festival Outfits (And You Should Too)

First of all, I hate myself for Latitude 2019. Not in the obvious sense; I didn’t turn up wearing brand-new white converse to a muddy field (although yes, I am a software engineer, I do actually have feet). I messed up on a much more fundamental level.

I planned my outfit for Latitude with obsessive precision for three weeks leading up to the festival. I wanted to achieve the Goldilocks zone of festival fashion – ‘effortless’, ‘chilled out’, but also clearly had put serious thought into what I was wearing. The horror.

Vintage Barbour jacket that I’d spent weeks obsessively scrolling through pictures of online to determine if it had the right kind of wear on it; unpopular band tee from Depop (of course I picked a band that wasn’t actually playing the festival) selvedge denim that I’d washed every other week for months in preparation; Red Wing boots that I’d been kicking down stairs. This was peaktryhard.

I know.

We’ll come back to this. But before we do: why did I do it? Well… most of my career so far has been spent optimising JavaScript runtimes for machine learning workloads.

So naturally when I’m dressing myself I approach the process with the same cold, analytical rigour. Which is great if you’re trying to increase throughput on an HPA autoscaling node pool… but kind of makes you the asshole hipster of festivals when you turn up looking like you were styled by middle-aged motorcycle bloggers on Twitter. My epiphany came when I met Pete.

Pete was a guy I started chatting to during Radiohead. He was wearing faded black jeans, an old Uniqlo t- shirt, old vans, and a navy hoodie tied around his waist. He looked like he threw together an outfit in thirty seconds and it was 100% better than anything I was wearing.

I was wearing that jacket I talked about earlier. I was sweating, worrying about how my collar looked, and actively trying not to muddy my boots. Pete looked like he just enjoyed the music. “Nice jacket mate,” he said, slightly nodding at me as he spoke.

Now, Pete wasn’t trying to be sarcastic or mean. He was a friendly guy and I liked him a lot. But I do think he could see straight through my outfit choices.

Like I was wearing a costume rather than actual clothes. “Bit warm for that though, innit?” Mate. I was roasting. But I couldn’t take it off.

My whole outfit would have fallen apart if I didn’t wear that jacket. What I was wearing wasn’t comfortable, it wasn’t practical. I was experiencing worse shade at that festival because I cared so much about how I looked shading at that festival.

It was ridiculous. After that, I vowed to never approach dressing for a festival the same way again. And honestly, my life has been better for it.

So here are my thoughts on dressing for a festival, in case they can help someone else out there: Prepare for mud, water, and drunken strangers pissing all over you As soon as you step on festival grounds you’re covered in mud and filth for the rest of the weekend. You may as well start from that baseline when picking out your clothes. Shoes are the number one place people get this wrong.

I love seeing dudes turn up to a festival in brand new leather desert boots. Listen dude, I appreciate your hustle, but you’re never going to get that shit clean again. Buy well-worn boots that can handle a bit of mud.

Blundstones are my go-to. I bought these for about £200 six years ago and they’ve been to enough festivals to justify the cost alone. They’re comfortable, they breathe (you’ll be amazed how hot and sweaty your feet get at festivals), they’ll tackle mud like a boss.

And once you put them on you’ll forget you’re even wearing shoes. My lifeLiterally my life changed when I started doing this. Compare that to past festivals where I’d worry about my shoes literally all day.

Every step would be analysed and deliberated over. Should I step in that puddle? Oh god why does it look like there’s mud coming out of that guy’s trainers?

Now I don’t worry about any of that stuff, I just go out and enjoy the festivals. Weather is the other thing you need to prepare for. British summertime baffles me with how unpredictable it can be.

Will it rain? Will it be blazing hot? Will it randomly chuck hail stones?

Will it do that weird British drizzle that manages to get you more soaked than rain? Pack clothes that can be layered. Nothing too thick, since you’ll inevitably bake under your umbrella during the afternoon, but something you can throw on if it pours.

Again, stick to things you don’t mind getting dirty / washing again. My festival jacket of choice is this absolutely basic navy Uniqlo parka. I bought it for about £60 three years ago and it’s been to god knows how many festivals without me ever giving it another thought.

Keeps the rain off. Doesn’t bother me if I get a bit sweaty under it. Don’t care if someone spills a drink on me.

Don’t care if I have to sit on mud. If your jacket passes all those tests you’ve already won at festivals. Denim is probably fine?

Wear whatever jeans you like. Honestly just wear jeans you already own that you like. Don’t go out and buy ‘festival jeans’, don’t try and distress them yourself, don’t obsess over what wash looks best.

If you’re cool wearing them to hang out with friends on the weekend, you’re cool wearing them to a festival. If it gets properly hot you’ll probably end up in shorts anyways. Again, no stress here.

Wear whatever shorts you like the look of. Stay away from crazy patterns and styles that look like you bought them especially for festivals. I tend to wear these basic COS navy shorts for most things.

Weekend errands, festivals, hanging out in the park with my girlfriend. They’re versatile enough to not look out of place but will still hold up fine if they get muddy. And that pretty much covers it.

Tell your girlfriend you’ll see her later and you’re out the door. Hours of fun ahead of you. Except wait, what about accessories??? ?

Here’s where people lose their shit. Trust me when I say that you do not need special festival beads or weird sunglasses or bucket hats. The best accessories are the ones you don’t even think about.

Trust me. If you need sunglasses bring a pair. Seriously basic Ray-Bans or Wayfarers or whatever, just like you’d wear to the office on a sunny day.

If you normally wear a watch, bring a watch. I literally just asked my girlfriend this morning what I should write about accessories and she looked at me like I had three heads when I said “festival outfits” and responded with “you wear a watch? Just bring a watch.” Girlfriend hates accessories but she’s also never wrong.

Wait, what about bags? Ah yes, bags. You do need a bag to hold your phone, wallet, keys, etc.

But please, for the love of all that is holy, don’t show up to a festival with a designer handbag. Keep it basic, keep it functional, and don’t hang something expensive over your shoulder for three days where you’ll ruin it. I actually stole this recommendation from my bud Alex.

He goes to like fucking twice as many festivals as me and has been doing so since way before I knew what festivals were. But he always has the most straightforward approach. His current festival bag of choice is this oversized leather messenger bag he’s had for fucking ages.

See what I’m getting at here? Phone goes in pocket. Wallet goes in pocket.

Pocket items go in bag. Bag swings over opposite shoulder. Hands completely free to enjoy festival.

It’s perfect. Why a crossbody instead of a backpack? Well for starters you don’t have to constantly take your bag on and off in crowds.

But also it just feels better to have your hands free when you’re at a festival. Clapping. Holding a drink.

Pushing through crowds. Trust me, once you go crossbody you’ll never go back. Prepare for music, not fashion.

Like I said up top, this was a revelation to me. Festivals are about enjoying music with lots of other people. They are not fashion shows, and you should never feel pressured to dress like you’re walking the festival runway when you go.

I know we’ve talked about clothes a lot this far up in this article, but that’s because clothes are important! Wearing comfortable clothes that you don’t have to stress about is the number one thing you can do to prepare yourself for festival weather. But remember why you’re doing it.

You’re going to be outside in a field listening to music, with thousands of other people. Dress appropriately. Honestly I think about this stuff too much.

But festivals were such a revelation to me when I was younger. Spending all day outside with nothing to do but listen to music felt so freeing.

And feeling like I had to wear a certain way to achieve that freed me from actually enjoying myself.

Realising I didn’t have to do that anymore has been liberating. Dress like you’re going on weekend camping trip. Okay maybe not camping, but you get what I’m saying.

Would you wear that outfit to go hang out in the park on a sunny weekend? Hell yeah you would. Now wear that to a festival.

Trust yourself. Overanalyze this advice and you’ll ironically find yourself right back where we started. Approach dressing for a festival the same way you would for any other weekend where you don’t know what the weather is gonna be like.

Throw on something you like and trust and just go have fun. You got this.