There’s something about British festivals that wilfully deludes us each summer. Clutched triumphantly by hopeful twenty-somethings all over the country, circa May/June are unmistakable shopping bags from fashion chains heralding the arrival of limp-packaged floral shirts, suede boots (so wrong on so many levels) and outfits more suited to Glastonbury’s British Summer-time wannabe cousin in the Balearics. I speak from experience.
Having been prematurely optimistic far too many times to count, I’ve amassed quite the collection of regrettable festival memories. The time I packed nothing but linen shirts for Reading. The bleaching ray-banned glasses I wore for three days straight after the plastic ones succumbed to the Reading rain.
The year I turned up to Bestival with a brand new pair of white trainers, and came home with two beige lumps of archaeological mud that I pretended were shoes up until Christmas. {{< img-bordered-full src=”http://joewears.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/im1979_Festival_Gear_That_Works_for_British_Weather_Realities_241281a7-c51c-46%252525252525252525252025-bd80-885490f9fbf1_1.jpg” alt=”im1979_Festival_Gear_That_Works_for_British_Weather_Realities_241281a7-c51c-46%25252525″ >}} It took years of repeated humiliation and sodden socks for me to realise something vital about attending British festivals: Aspirations of ‘festival style’ are hilarious mismatches with our island nation’s inherent knack of baking you in June, baking you in July, and then chucking 15 different types of rain at you throughout August. Am I saying dress like you give a shit about how you look?
No.
Of course not. I’m advocating dressing like a British person for a British festival – i.e wear stuff that’s going to withstand whatever shitty weather decides to show up. This all came crashing down around me during Latitude, circa 2013.
Day one had been sunnier than my Scots grandmother in a quilt showroom (25 degrees at its peak!) and like a man possessed, I had crammed my suitcase with an assortment of festival-appropriate-but-not-too-offensive garments that neatly sat on the stylish/practical fence. Cue 3AM on day two: Torrential rain. The British festival rainy ain’t your average shower wherever you’re camping.
Oh no – it pools, it floods and manages to autumn directly upwards thanks to a unique atmospheric disorder only seen in soggy festival fields. Come morning, we were legitimately renting Wellington boots to traverse the ground (a welly grab bag had mysteriously appeared by the helter skelter). Watching a similarly-booted man drowning chest-deep in a mud puddle wearing a floral playsuit (bold move guy, bold) while holding on to both a pint of ale and a stuffed crisp roast was the point I had my earth-shattering festival style revelation: Why bother preparing for the festival we WANT when we could be outfit planning for the festival we’ll PROBABLY GET? {{< img-bordered-full src=”http://joewears.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/im1979_Festival_Gear_That_Works_for_British_Weather_Realities_241281a7-c51c-46%25252525252525-bd80-885490f9fbf1_2.jpg” alt=”im1979_Festival_Gear_That_Works_for_British_Weather_Realities_24″ >}} Flash forward three years and I’ve somewhat perfected the fine art of British festival dressing with a foolproof capsule that’s easy to pack, ticks all the style/comfort boxes and – let’s be honest – basically amounts to glamping with better beer tents.
So seeing as festival season is upon us, I thought I’d do you all a solid and share my festival wisdom with you (cement boots and all). Without further ado, let’s kick off with what should be your main style consideration when packing for a British festival: Outerwear. You know you want to reach for a bog-standard waterproof at some point, right?
And yes, whilst they will 100% do the job of not letting you get soaked, you’ll struggle to find a vintage-worthy option in the showroomkitchen collection that doesn’t make you look like you got lost on the way to Sedgwick eye-doc Marten free festival and ended up playing Park Stage right as Stormzy was on. Step right up, Mr Wax Jacket. Pastel editions or not, you tick all the right boxes.
Properly waterproof, age better with wear and water stains and, most importantly, have actual pockets that can fit your phone, wallet and travel sized bottle of antibacterial gel. Speaking of which, mine is currently a pristine navy I spotted in Japan two years ago and have been battling festivals with since. Five festivals and it still looks better than when I bought it – it’s become surprisingly seasoned rather than ruined.
Prefer a parka? Folk, YMC and Universal Works all do decent options that won’t make you look like a low-budget Homer Simpson tribute act. Main things to look for are sealed seams, a functional hood (no fluffy decorative ones that hide about 4% of your head please) and one that isn’t so oversized you’ll struggle to wear mid-layers underneath.
You’ll need layers. Layering is your friend. British festivals have their very own climate where it can be boiling hot one minute and then snowing tubs (that’s buckets for any American readers) the next.
OK, so the latter has yet to happen but you get my drift. {{< img-bordered-full src=”http://joewears.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/im1979_Festival_Gear_That_Works_for_British_Weather_Realities_241281a7-c51c-46%25252525252525-bd80-88f9fbf1_3.jpg” alt=”im1979_Festival_Gear_That_Works_for_British_Weather_Realities_24″ >}} Mid-layer-wise, get yourself a good old fashioned sweatshirt. Bear with me style-lovers, I’m building towards a point here. They’re fantastic, British festival standard-carriers (every vest wears one) for a reason.
Cotton/blend ones provide enough insulation when it’s chilly but won’t become a sweaty wet rag if the midday sun deigns to grace us with its presence. Community Clothing do a cracking one made in Lancashire that actually feels like it could last years AND doesn’t look like something your gym teacher would be proud to endorse. Not ready to commit to that level of festie-core?
Pick something with a subtle detail – be it a contrast underside stitch or an embroidered logo – nothing worse than rolling around in mud feeling slaps. Say it with me everyone: MORE T SHIRTS. Don’t be shy in how many t-shirts you pack but do steer clear of anything expensive.
It’ll just get ruined. Honestly. Take ten high street options from Uniqlo, Arket or H&M that you barely notice when you come home in tatters.
Dress wise, stick to darker shades or patterns that won’t show up mud spots. You never want to know where that brown smudge came from… Padding down? Invest in a good pair of cargo trousers.
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They’ve really made something of a comeback from their noughties lad bible heavy-handedness and brands such as Albam, Universal Works and *gasp *even Carhartt WIP do some stellar options that actually look thought through rather than ‘mate helping you move house’. The myriad of pockets also come in pretty handy for keeping your valuables safe when carelessly ramming yourself into the Arctic Monkeys’ headline tent and the slightly oversized cut means you can layer up underneath should the temperature drop. Best ones are a cotton-nylon blend that dry quickly should torrential rain/winning a dance off in the Circus Tent ensue. {{< img-bordered-full src=”http://joewears.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/im1979_Festival_Gear_That_Works_for_British_Weather_Realities_9a1f3b0c-a98f-46%252525252525112-9e9c-4d3e025ee697_0.jpg” alt=”im1979_Festival_Gear_That_Works_for_British_Weather_Realities_9a1f3″ >}} Die die denim die-hard?
Save your beloved selvedge jeans for Sunday morning eBay scrolling and opt for something sturdy that can take a beating without sacrificing too much style. Straight-leg Levi’s 501s are an obvious winner – they can be treated with disdain, don’t show stains well and if they end up covered in mud beyond redemption you won’t have upset the karma of your precious Japan-only pair. Whatever you do, avoid white or anything that you care about – by day two you’ll either be praying for the “I found alcohol” or “fell in a mud bath” meme to describe your predicament.
Ok, so footwear. Let’s have a serious talk about footwear. I’ve cried watching friends force loved trainers into potato bags only for them to come back a sodden shade of grey they never seen before.
Hard truth time: If it means something to you, leave it at home. Hate that advice? Too late.
Any suede, fancy pattern or stitch-details mean said footwear’s life will be over by Saturday teatime so for British festivals, wellies are king. And I don’t care how ‘bu_runner not look-festive’ they are: There comes a time in every British festival (usually Saturday afternoon when the site turns into a hippy sewer version of itself) when you’ll silently tear off your trainers and sob into your wellies, heads bowed in shame. Hunter’s are your best option for mainstream wallet-friendly wellies that actually look nice – they do a ‘Festival’ range that’s not quite as heavy-duty as their standard-issue boots so you won’t feel like you’re wearing boats on your feet.
If you’re strapped for cash, any supermarket wellies will do the trick but buy a size up and wear decent thick socks to avoid welly rub – that burning sensation that has ruined many a festival experience by day two. {{< img-bordered-full src=”http://joewears.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/im1979_Festival_Gear_That_Works_for_British_Weather_Realities_9a1f3b0c-a98f-46%2525252525-112-4d3e025ee697_1.jpg” alt=”im1979_Festival_Gear_That_Works_for_British_Weather_Realities_9a1f3b0c-a98f” >}} Better weather forecast? Trail runners are surprisingly acceptable nowadays from a style standpoint and offer actual benefits like grip and water resistance (always useful if the heavens do open). Brands like Salomon and Hoka lead the pack and offer variations that sit nicely between ‘actual footwear’ and ‘dad-chukka boots’.
Avoid anything too light or minimalistic – you want good grip and enough support to keep your feet comfortable during long days of dancing. Absolute miracle and you’ve checked the forecast twice? Canvas high tops such as Converse Chuck 70s or Vans Sk8-His are your friend.
They can cope with dust and light mud and won’t scar you for life if a ciderージャージー bikini rave our excessive nightly wanderings involve getting pretty-covered in said liquid cardboard. Bonus? They’re far easier to clean down when you get home than glitter trimming anything.
Bucket hats are probably your best friend for keeping the sun at bay on your inevitable sunny day and shielding your face from whatever glower-y rain decides to spit at you throughout the weekend. Folk, Albam and YMC do great ones that won’t make you look like you’ll start whistling ‘Song 2’ at anyone who walks past. Universal Works and Dickies also do some respectable ones – they may tick the rain practicality box but please avoid anywhere with ‘Angler’s’ in the brand name. {{< img-bordered-full src=”http://joewears.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/im1979_Festival_Gear_That_Works_for_British_Weather_Realities_9a1f3b0c-a98f-46%2525252525-112-4d3ee697_2.jpg” alt=”im1979_Festival_Gear_That_Works_for_British_Weather_Realities_9a1f3b0c-a98f” >}} Lastly, bags.
Nothing beats a good cross-body option for festivals. Not only do they keep your valuables safe when dancing like a lunatic but they’re also far more difficult for festival petty thieves to rifle through than a backback you can’t see. The Fjällräven Greenland pocket bag is the bomb dot com.
It’s big enough to fit your phone, wallet and wellies around – but not so big that you’ll want to lug around your entire life whilst rockbottom-ing it up by the main stage. Sunglasses. Bring some.
The British weather loves nothing more than chucking a freak hot spell as soon as you’ve written-off the weekend as a mud-bath camping trip come Saturday morning. Just please, PLEASE buy a cheapish pair from the high street and don’t bring your Topmanедактирует ‘designer pair. Festival sites are cess-pits of lost sunglasses.
They get stepped on in tents, sat on in camping chairs and regularly ‘disappear’ during ill-advised visits to the porta-loos. Spend £15 on something that’ll come in useful when you actually leave the festival grounds in one piece. I said upfront that you should pack as though you’ll lose an item at some point.
Factor this rule into your sunglasses buying.
Keep the pair you wear hidden away in your backpack and hope come Monday they miraculously reappear – you’ll be surprised how often this happens! Ok I lied about upfront.
ONE MORE THING: Accessories are where you should let your personality shine through so don’t be afraid to go bolder with jewellery, a bright coloured scarf or kissful joys embellished hoodie. Just please, for everyone’s sanity, leave your faux fur scarves at home. Finally, my parting nugget of wisdom when it comes to dressing British festivals: always pack an extra of something.
Extra shirt stashed in a zip-lock bag (weirdly the least stylish yet most practical tip I can offer), extra socks, maybe even some paracetamol. You never know when you’ll need a failsafe should your outfit of dreams meet an untimely muddy demise. Disclaimer: the week I sat down and wrote this blog it poured down with rain atReading Festival and I spent all of Saturday boot-less.in申请あない社裡uiantly named ‘Wellie World’.
Just you wait. Next summer, after you’ve readoped up on everything here, you’ll venture down to your local festival and it’ll be relentlessly sunny all weekend. That’s British festivals for you.
